そう特別なんかじゃない、形あるものでもない

[faded_lace]

I have a lot of thoughts about stuff, but I'm not ever sure how I want to talk about them, or if I want to talk about them on LJ. So for right now I'm going to stick with the relatively simple and relatively clean-cut.

I guess it's not something I really talk about much anymore, but… I've been a huge Chinen fan for a really long time. Chinen is the reason I became a JUMP fan in the first place, and loving him has been a huge part of my life, especially when I was in college. He has a really special place in my heart.

But… I've been realizing that over time, both of us have changed, and I think that part of what was preventing me from really getting into JUMP for a while after the shit that was 2012 happened was the fact that Chinen just… didn't have the same draw for me. He's such a wonderful guy who cares so much about his friends and his fans, not to mention an amazingly talented dancer and dedicated hard worker, but… for whatever reason, as much as I love and admire him, the spark isn't there anymore.

…what I'm trying to say, albeit poorly, is that… I've tangae'd within JUMP. I realized last weekend that more and more, my favourite is Inoo. It was a hard decision/realization to come to, but I stand by it, and I'm really happy. So… yoroshiku, Ino-chan, and thank you for all the good times, Chinen ♥


Life is seriously giving me lemons right now, but even if I'm not skillful enough to make lemonade, I'm going to do my best to put the lemons on a shelf for now and deal with them one at a time. And in the meanwhile, focusing on the positives is really helping. ♥ Good luck to everyone else out there who's fighting, too.

Comments

[rorychan.livejournal.com]

I have had a long battle with Inoo and Chinen as my 2nd favorite....that lasted 2 years. ;___; So I know how you feel...somewhat.... I love both of them so much that it hurts.

[faded-lace.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to know it's not just me! ;____; Inoo was always my second favourite, and I've seriously loved Chinen for so long… but… I guess we all change. They're both so amazing and I still love Chinen so much, just… Inoo nudged ahead, finally, I think. ;____; ♥

[rorychan.livejournal.com]

That's what happened with me except opposite. XD Chinen nudged ahead, lol. So many overwhelming feels.

[faded-lace.livejournal.com]

I totally understand ;___; Well, either way… they're both beautiful ♥

[rorychan.livejournal.com]

They arrrreeee!!!

[faded-lace.livejournal.com]

I'm really happy to know that other people understand my feelings ♥ These boys are all so perfect.

[dusk037.livejournal.com]

/pets you 💖

I've been reading your posts, I just don't know how to words. I'll just be waving pompoms for you in your every step (in hopefully a not-creepy way)

[faded-lace.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! ♥ I really appreciate the support.

[mayura-news.livejournal.com]

I don't see any reason to apologize for that ! Inoo-chan is as fine as Chinen and everyone changes. (I'm always for more love for BEST members 8D) \o/

I understand how you feel. I never faced this in JUMP fandom (seems like I'm glued to Yuya...XD) but it happened with my fav' Amuse boys and it's always kinda hard to come to the conclusion that you started liking this boy more than the one you got into the fandom for... (Even going from NEWS to HSJ as Johnny's main fandom was hard...).
It does not mean you don't like Chinen anymore (he'll always be special) but just that you changed =D

Good luck with real life =D

[faded-lace.livejournal.com]

Yeah, change is definitely always hard. But thank you so much for the support! ♥ And BEST are… well, the best XD;;;

[snow.livejournal.com]

I know this is a really difficult thing for you, but growing & changing as a person does not make you bad/a traitor/anything like that ♥ Inoo is great & I'm really glad you're happy.

[faded-lace.livejournal.com]

Thank you ♥ I really appreciate it. And he is great. ♥

[kamui-lee-chan.livejournal.com]

oh dear friend, I used to be in your shoes. my first love (coughs) is Daiki. But ever since I dunno almost two years now Inoo has overtaken Daiki somehow. Most of the time I regard them as equals but sometimes I can't help leaning to Inoo even more. There is just something about this boy, something you want to know~ maybe because his like a ninja(my friends and I call him that since he hardly is seen off stage..lol) or the fact he isn't one of JUMP popular boys, it makes me want to cherish being his fan.
Haha^^ what am I saying.. I dunno if this makes sense.
But like you Daiki will always like have a special place, I mean I fail so badly if I see and DAIKEI moments around. LOL XD

[faded-lace.livejournal.com]

It makes sense to me. I've sort of learned over time that I'm pretty much incapable of being a fan of the "front" guys, so I definitely understand wanting to cherish being the fan of a less popular member. I'm really glad I'm not alone in this issue, ahaha. Thanks!

[kamui-lee-chan.livejournal.com]

Don't worry you are never alone on this! But I do greatly admire some who manage to stick to there ichiban for a very long time! :D

[faded-lace.livejournal.com]

Thank you! ♥

[cakezplease.livejournal.com]

Chinen is an amazing person and I'm glad to hear Inoo's your favourite now but no one can ever truly replace another person. You'll always have those special memories with Chinen! :)
Inoo's such an interesting person, I hope we can talk lots about him in the future!

[faded-lace.livejournal.com]

Yes, I definitely will ♥ Thanks! Inoo is really great and I'm looking forward to talking about him~

[yomimashou.livejournal.com]

I'm really happy that Inoo has been making you so happy ♥ Chinen will always have a special place in your heart, and I'm excited to talk lots about Inoo from now on too! Tangae is hard, but I'm really glad you were able to come to this decision ♥

[faded-lace.livejournal.com]

Thank you ;__; I feel really good about the change, honestly. It doesn't mean that I've forgotten about Chinen, but I love Inoo so much ;___; Tangae really is hard, but I think I made the right choice.

[britkit27.livejournal.com]

Inoo is wonderful <3 and I'm glad he's making you so happy. Chinen is and always will be an all around awesome guy... but so are quite a few johnnys (for example: Sou), and that doesn't make them your favorite, and that's ok ^ ^ I'm sure he'd be glad to hear Inoo is getting the extra support.

I'm sorry it seems like everything has been going wrong at once, but I'm confident you can get through it and it will turn out ok <3 You've got those lemons, and there's more things that can be done with them than make lemonade~

[faded-lace.livejournal.com]

He is wonderful ♥ I'm feeling really good about the change right now, so thank you!

And thanks ;___; It's pretty rough, but… ganbarimasu.