MOAR INCEST
Jan. 27th, 2009 12:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
faded_laceI know you were all waiting in anticipation~
Post 2
See disclaimer, rating, and warnings from the first post.
Seto was conscious of a warmth and a weight pressing against him before he was aware of much else. He was comfortable…extremely comfortable, surprisingly, and he had no desire to move or wake up. Still, he knew he had to, sooner or later, because there was no way the comfort he was experiencing now would last. It had to be a dream… There was something rather heavy on top of his arm, Seto realized, as he flexed his hand, slowly beginning to rouse himself. That at least had to be a real weight, though it felt…right, like it was supposed to be there, exactly as it was. And the warmth continued across his chest, down his side…draped over his leg. Seto shifted, and what felt like—and yet couldn’t be—a body, moved ever so slightly, pressing against him, moving in just such a way as to make Seto gasp, and suck in a breath of air tightly. Assuming what he felt was actually a body—which led Seto to assume he was, in fact, still asleep and having a very realistic dream—there was a leg draped over his hips in just such a way that Seto was tempted to move again, just to feel the exquisite friction.
Seto took in a breath slowly, gathering himself. Discipline was always important, and this was an odd enough dream that he was sure he would only be disappointed if he tried anything else. In fact, it had gone far enough; Seto had work to do, and no time to waste on imagined figures draped over him in such an idealized way. Clenching his jaw, Seto forced himself awake, snapping his eyes open to stare darkly at the ceiling, and flexing in an effort to banish the lingering sensation of the warm weight from his dream. Sighing as the feeling did not disappear, Seto rolled over stiffly, noting the way the arm on his chest and the leg between his slid off of him so realistically—before all thoughts vanished from his mind, replaced by shock, then horror. He’d just about rolled on top of Mokuba, who was, no doubt, waking up, and not only that but, just before, Mokuba had—Seto had—
Seto sprang up off of Mokuba into a sitting position, moving quickly to the end of the bed away from him, and hoping the blush he felt forming on his cheeks would not be visible in the dim morning light. “M-Mokuba, what are you doing here?” Seto asked quickly, ashamed of how breathless, how embarrassed he sounded.
Mokuba had still been sound asleep until he felt a weight moving around him, and then heard Seto's voice. Opening his eyes, he realized, after a moment, that he was coming to in his brother's bedroom... that he had gone to sleep there last night. That was right, it was all coming back to him now, and slowly, with a yawn, he sat up to look at his brother sleepily. "I told you, I'm not leaving until you're better, Nii-sama," he mumbled matter-of-factly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "And you told me not to sleep on the floor last night, so I got in bed with you." Looking around, he realized he was intruding into Seto's half of the bed, and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry if I got in your way last night... I didn't mean to."
Rubbing his eyes again, Mokuba looked up at his brother to realize that his face was slightly flushed, and he was breathing slightly heavily. Worried, Mokuba furrowed his brow... perhaps Seto was getting sicker? "Nii-sama," he addressed carefully, rising onto his knees and leaning closer to Seto, placing a hand on his forehead, "Are you running a fever? You feel a little warm, and your face is all red..."
Seto removed Mokuba’s hand from his face and did not release his wrist, glaring and clenching his jaw. “No, I’m fine,” Seto said tightly. “I just wasn’t expecting to find you here.” He said through clenched teeth, releasing Mokuba and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “I don’t care where you sleep,” Seto began, standing, “but it would be nice if you would show some consideration and give me some more space.” He folded his arms and turned back to Mokuba sternly. “You were practically on top of me this morning.”
Mokuba fell back onto the bed when his brother released him, blinking and fighting the urge to rub the bruise he was sure was now forming on his wrist. Seto, he knew, had a very firm grip, and he was sure his brother never meant to hurt him, even though, whenever he grasped Mokuba with any intention, it always hurt. Still, bruises were a small price to pay for the contact, and so Mokuba nodded quickly, immediately appologetic. "I'm sorry, Nii-sama-- I didn't mean to! I promise, I'll be better tonight. I'll stay all the way on the other side, okay?" He was glad that Seto wasn't throwing him out, after all. Though he liked sleeping close, it was better to be in Seto's bed and far away than out of the room altogether.
“Fine, just don’t crowd me.” Seto grumbled, moving to his closet and removing a black turtleneck. “You’d sleep better in your own bed, I’m sure.” He said blandly, trying his best to sound as if he didn’t care either way, because he didn’t want Mokuba to think that he did. On the one hand, he absolutely did not want a repeat of this morning’s…confusion, but on the other, there was some part of Seto that somehow wanted Mokuba to stay close… It was stupid, really, but he didn’t think he’d slept so well in a very long time. It was, of course, probably because he’d been so exhausted…
He strode across the room to retrieve his laptop and moved to his desk in front of the window, taking a seat. “I have some work to do. And I’m not hungry, so don’t wait for me for breakfast.” Seto added, deciding the safest thing to do now would be to have some time alone to recover from the morning’s first mishap.
"Oh, okay..." Mokuba replied a little dejectedly. "I'll go eat, then. Let me know when you're hungry, so I can have them send something for you, okay?" Looking over at his brother, Mokuba sighed, and added, "Nii-sama... you should be in bed..." Still, he knew, Seto was bound to do whatever he liked, and so, with another sigh, he left for his breakfast.
Mokuba dressed, and then ate as fast as he could, wanting to get back to Seto as soon as possible, sitting in the kitchen and shovelling his cereal into his face in record time. Stuffing a few muffins into his pockets in case Seto got hungry, he hurried back up to the top floor, to Seto's bedroom. When he got inside, he noticed Seto still seemed to be deeply immersed in his work, and did his best to be quiet, so as not to disturb him. After all, the sooner he got done, the sooner he got to rest... Setting the muffins on the nightstand, Mokuba quietly made his way to Seto's side, peering over his shoulder at what he was doing. After all, now that Kaiba Land was completed and open, Mokuba was wondering what Seto's new project was.
Seto paused a moment in his work to rub his eyes, again beginning to feel tired. His…weakness…the exhaustion that he could now admit he suffered from, was wearing on his nerves. It was frustrating, and Seto was beginning to feel like he couldn’t finish anything… Perhaps it would be better to rest a little longer. At least, sleeping now, he wouldn’t have to worry about where Mokuba was in relation to him…
Seto turned in his seat quickly—too quickly—and found himself nose to nose with his little brother, gasping as the blood rushed to his face in a hot blush. “Mokuba—” He hissed, startled and embarrassed more by his reaction then by their proximity—almost touching—almost kissing. He pulled back immediately, turning away, and lifting a hand to cover his face, hoping against hope that Mokuba hadn’t noticed his expression. “I hope you didn’t choke eating so fast.” Seto grimaced, attempting a cover.
"I didn't," Mokuba replied matter-of-factly, furrowing his brow at his brother's flushed face. That was the second time today... "Nii-sama," he started, putting his hands on his hips and trying to sound stern. "You really don't look well. Are you sure you're not feverish? You should be in bed." Leaning over his brother's lap and placing one hand on his leg for support, Mokuba pressed his other palm to Seto's forehead. "You really do feel a little warm. You should stop overworking yourself, Nii-sama. The doctor did say to stay in bed." Looking into Seto's eyes, he tried his best to sound responsible and adult-seeming, hoping his brother would listen.
Seto’s blush only intensified as the soft pressure of Mokuba’s hand on his thigh registered. This contact—and Seto’s reaction to it—sent a new wave of guilt through him. It was his brother, Seto reminded himself, and it was a purely innocent action on the part of an eleven year old. Even so, in his current state, his current mainframe, Seto couldn’t take it, and quickly pushed Mokuba away, fearing that he would simply continue to react deplorably to any sort of normal contact. “I’m fine!” Seto shouted angrily, upset with himself, not with his brother—which he was sure Mokuba would assume. “Really, it’s nothing. I don’t have a fever.” Seto said quickly, defensively.
Startled by the shove, Mokuba stumbled, barely catching his balance without falling to the ground. His stomach knotted as he looked back up at his brother pathetically, on the verge of tears. After all-- Seto never shoved him, not hard enough for him to fall-- except for once. Sure, he manhandled Mokuba a bit, but Mokuba didn't mind a tug or a little push... but this, this brought the memories flooding back from the worst day of Mokuba's life, made him hear Seto's thirteen-year-old voice calling him a traitor, made him relive the moments of pain he did his best to bury away.
"Nii-sama," he managed, but his voice was trembling, and so he paused, swallowing and trying again. "Nii-sama... I'm just worried about you! The doctor told you to stay in bed and not to work and..." Wavering, the first tears began to fall, no matter how hard he fought them away. "I don't want anything bad to happen to you!"
Seto sighed, exasperated at seeing the tears in Mokuba’s eyes. He felt slightly guilty, realizing the push had been a little too hard, but he was of the opinion that Mokuba was overreacting. “Nothing “bad” will happen to me.” Seto said firmly. “I’m sorry,” he admitted, though he rolled his eyes as he said it, “this whole ordeal is ridiculous anyway—I can take care of myself.” He turned and closed his laptop to emphasize, standing and moving back to the bed. “So stop wasting all of your effort worrying about me, Mokuba.”
Mokuba wiped at his tears with the back of his hand and nodded, smiling pathetically as he watched Seto get back in bed. At least now he was resting... And, of course, Seto was easy to forgive. "I'm sorry, too... is there anything I can get for you now? I brought you some food earlier, it's over there..." He pointed to the muffins that he had forgotten momentarily, offerring a hopeful smile.
“Yes.” Seto said quickly, an idea forming. He needed to be alone…to talk himself out any future ridiculous reactions to inadvertent and obviously innocent actions Mokuba was likely to commit. “There’s some data I need.” He continued, mentally going through each and every one of the files on his computer, searching for one that he might need updated for some reason—anything to give him a legitimate reason to send Mokuba away. “I want the latest data from the Duel Monsters Database located in Kaiba Land’s central coliseum processing CPU.” There, that, at least, was something he couldn’t access from his laptop. “I have to run a regression analysis on the cards being used in our tournaments.” That was information Mokuba didn’t even really need to know, but Seto felt it necessary in order to flesh out the excuse to send Mokuba away.
"Oh," Mokuba replied, blinked. "Okay, sure! I'll go as fast as I can!" Smiling, he wagged a finger at his brother teasingly. "Now, you try to get some rest while I go get it for you, okay, Nii-sama?" And with that, he departed, jogging out of his brother's room, glad to be being of use.
Seto watched as Mokuba hurried out of the door, and sat, in silence for a moment to gather his thoughts. All of this…his reactions to Mokuba’s every innocent action…was really getting out of hand. Seto didn’t think a heightened physical response to everyday physical contact was a symptom of over-exhaustion—and becoming suddenly overly conscious of one’s brother’s every movement surely did not result from a lack of sleep. No, this was beginning to become a problem. Seto had always prided himself on his self control, his discipline, and had never been a victim of any base hormonal drives. And yet, something about this morning…and now something about Mokuba in general was putting him entirely on edge.
It was absolutely absurd! Honestly, his own brother? Seto asked himself accusatively, and found no answer. What was wrong with him? It was true…he generally tried to think of himself and Mokuba not as siblings, because that often made it easier to discipline, advise, and instruct Mokuba… But then, what did Seto consider himself? A parent? That was somehow even worse. Seto dropped his face into his hands and rubbed his temples, trying to find some explanation for his current irrational and utterly perverse overreactions to Mokuba’s behavior.
Perhaps it was just the time spent in such close proximity? It was true, it had been a long time since they’d been so close for so long. The answer, then, was to disallow Mokuba from keeping him company, and certainly from sleeping with him again. But things had been slightly off with Mokuba lately, ever since that confrontation in which Noa had come up… Seto didn’t want to risk creating any more doubts in Mokuba’s mind by sending him away, even though that took away his only option for avoiding future awkward situations and the inevitable inappropriate and disproportionate response.
Seto acknowledged that this morning could have been much much worse… If anything like that were to happen again, he wasn’t sure if he could stop himself…if he could keep his reaction in check. He took a deep breath and lifted his head, looking out the window to the grounds. He’d devoted his whole life to working for a future for himself, and especially for Mokuba. If…if he fell apart like this now, if he descended into the inferior instinctual behavior expected of his contemporaries, what kind of example could he set? What was more, if he did unintentionally do something to Mokuba, what kind of damage would he do? Seto’s situation was serious; unless he could shape up, he would have to take some sort of preventative action, as much for Mokuba’s safety as for his own emotional health.
It took him a while, but, finally, Mokuba got the information his brother wanted, and, flash drive in hand, he hurried back to his brother's bedroom, triumphant. "Nii-sama! It's here." Running over to the bed, he practically jumped into it beside Seto and nearly toppled into his lap in his over-enthusiastic ardour, but he was filled with endorphens from running all the way back in his excitement at being useful. "Here it all is!" he excalimed, proffering the drive to Seto with a wide grin.
“Watch it!” Seto hissed, quickly pulling away before Mokuba touched him; he was taking no chances. Seto took the drive from his bother carefully, once again avoiding any contact, and pulled his computer into his lap, inserting the drive. “Good,” he said blandly. “Thank you for getting this data for me.” He scrolled through, curious as to whether there actually were any notable trends, but far too distracted to really work on any computations now. “I’ll…need it later.” Seto explained, looking back up at Mokuba, hoping the despair and self condemnation didn’t show in his expression.
"Sorry, sorry!" Mokuba apologized quickly, sitting back on his heels, but any doubt was pushed entirely from his mind when Seto thanked him. "Oh, it's no problem! I'm glad it's what you needed!" Mokuba exclaimed, overjoyed at being even slightly appreciated, "Let me know if there's anything else you need, I want to do everything I can for you, okay, Nii-sama?"
“That’s—that’s not necessary!” Seto said quickly—too quickly—before he’d realized what Mokuba was actually referring to. “N-No, that’s all I needed. I have…some other work to get done.” It was true, Seto did have other work he should be doing, but Mokuba’s presence was slightly distracting. He could tell Mokuba was overjoyed that he’d been of use, and Seto felt slightly guilty for sending him on a superfluous errand. Still…Mokuba didn’t have to know, and it was better if he was happy.
Sighing, Seto closed the file containing the data Mokuba had retrieved and opened his current project. He had to finish it today, or else he would be behind the schedule he’d set at the beginning of the month and his future projects would suffer. He was feeling considerably better all ready, and was quite sure he wouldn’t have a problem staying awake tonight, luckily. As long as Mokuba didn’t distract him, or, more accurately, as long as his own thoughts about Mokuba left him in peace, he would be able to finish without issue.
Sure enough, Seto managed to complete his work, and in relatively good time. It was only midnight when he checked the clock, and with a slightly smug smirk, Seto announced his completion. “I finished, Mokuba. I’m going to bed—do what you like.” Seto couldn’t, in the end, bring himself to tell Mokuba to leave the room, but that didn’t stop him from hoping Mokuba would decide to spend the night in his own bed. Resigned to somehow managed, regardless of what Mokuba chose, Seto closed his computer, placed it securely on his bedside table, and began arranging his covers and pillows for sleep.
Mokuba had, meanwhile, been dozing off on the floor again, curled up beside the game of go he had been playing against himself. At Seto's voice, he looked up drowsily, and nodded quickly, climbing to his feet and into bed with Seto. Dutifully, he situated himself on the far side of the bed, facing away from Seto, and tucked himself under the covers, too sleepy to think about much besides bed. "G'night, Nii-sama," he murmured as he saw the lights go out, falling back to sleep...
For a moment, Mokuba doesn't realize where he is, not until he sees Seto walking down the hall at him pointedly, an outraged look on his face. It is Seto, but it's not; it's Seto at thirteen, shorter, still a child. Still, he looms over Mokuba, placing Mokuba at about eight, and suddenly, Mokuba realizes, Mokuba knows what's about to happen.
"Traitor!" he hears Seto declare, and he squeezes his eyes shut, waiting for what he knows will come next. Sure enough, he's hit, thrown to the ground by the force of it, and after impacting the floor with a resonating thud, he opens his eyes, and is terrified to find that it's the brother he knows now glowering down at him. He's eleven again, and he's terrified as Seto looks him straight in the eye and says "I hate you, Mokuba."
Seto turns on his heel and begins to walk away, and Mokuba tries to get to his feet but stumbles, tears streaming down his cheeks as he reaches out desperately. "Nii-sama!" he shrieks, but Seto doesn't turn back, doesn't flinch. "Nii-sama, I'm sorry!" But his brother might as well be deaf, because he's all but gone into the fog now, and Mokuba is bawling and screaming because he knows that, without Seto, he's nothing, without Seto, he's lost everything.
Seto’s eyes snapped open and he froze, waiting. He’d been abruptly torn from a dreamless sleep by a noise, a calling voice, and he stiffened, waiting to hear it again. He felt Mokuba moving in the bed next to him, felt him turn and take some of the covers with him. Then, Mokuba called out his name, apologizing for something, and Seto felt his gut wrench. He rolled over to face his brother, moving close to him and hesitantly reached forward blindly in the dark, finding his shoulder and shaking it lightly. He hoped he’d never hear that same agonizing apology… He knew he had to rescue Mokuba from whatever horrible thing he’d done. “Mokuba,” Seto said softly, giving him a light shake, “wake up. You’re dreaming.”
Mokuba awoke with a start, poised to cry out again when he realized that he was in bed. He was disoreinted, panicked a moment, before he remembered, he was in bed with Seto. It was then that he felt a hand on his shoulder, a strong, comforting hand, his brother's hand. Just barely, through the dark, he could sort-of half make out Seto's form facing him, and he trembled a moment before asking shakily, "Nii-sama...?" This made sense, this was right, but it was still so vivid in his mind, the words, the slap, and all of a sudden, he crumbled with a pitiful sob, descending once more into hysterics. Still he knew he was being childish, and, filled with leftover fear from the dream, didn't want to anger Seto. "I-I'm sorry, Nii-sama... I didn't mean to-- to wake you..." he managed to choke out, wiping at his eyes feverishly even as more tears came, "I'm... I'm sorry..."
“It was just a dream.” Seto said firmly, but as reassuringly as he could. “It’s fine…I don’t mind…” Hesitantly, Seto tightened his grip on Mokuba and pulled him closer, into his arms. “It was just a dream, okay? Everything’s all right…” What should have felt like perfectly acceptable behavior for brothers somehow now seemed a little inappropriate for Seto… He wanted to comfort Mokuba, and yet he couldn’t help but remember the awkward position in which he’d found himself just that morning… This was nearly a repeat—the same warm comfortable weight in his arms, and the same small body pressed up against him… Seto closed his eyes and set his jaw, trying to breathe evenly while holding on to Mokuba tightly and trying not to think about any of that. He didn’t want Mokuba to be afraid; that was what was most important, that was his duty as a brother. Whatever problems Seto had, they simply had to be set aside for Mokuba—that was how it always had been and always would be.
Mokuba pressed his face into Seto's chest, infinitely grateful for the physical comfort. Nodding in response to Seto's words, his crying began to slow... after all, how, when he was being held so tightly, could he ever even picture his brother walking away from him? In fact, being this close... it was something Mokuba wished would happen more often. He liked being in Seto's embrace, it made him feel warm and loved and comfortable and contented, made him remember that, even though Seto worked all the time and never really wanted to spend time with him, he still loved Mokuba. Reassured, comforted, his fears banished, all of a sudden, Mokuba couldn't keep his eyes open anymore, and, snuggling into the crook of Seto's shoulder with a serene smile on his lips, Mokuba murmured, "I love you Nii-sama," before drifting back off to sleep.
Seto froze, realizing Mokuba had fallen asleep once again. He didn’t want to move—not until Mokuba was asleep enough not to notice; he didn’t want to risk waking Mokuba again. Minutes passed, and still Seto didn’t dare to move or hardly even breathe. For one thing, he was desperate to allow Mokuba to continue to sleep, and for another, he was terrified that the slightest movement on his part would trigger some kind of unwanted response on his part… There were any number of ways this venture could go array, Seto knew, based on Mokuba’s proximity and position in particular. One false move and they were likely to…well Seto knew his all too amped up hormones would interpret the contact in an entirely unacceptable manner. Seto was therefore left with little to no choice in his position, and so, resigned to his fate, he managed, after several minutes of holding completely still, to fall back asleep once again. Hopefully, by the time he woke up, they would have both drifted apart in their sleep…
Mokuba awoke feeling warm and comfortable, and was reluctant to open his eyes and face reality. After all, lying here, in his brother's embrace... it was better than any other morning he could remember. Even if the position was a bit awkward... His head was sticll tucked in the crook of Seto's neck, and Seto's arms were still around him, but Seto, it seemed, had rolled a bit on top of him in the night, and their legs were all tangled together. Seto's hips were pressed lightly against his, Seto's head, lulled slightly sideways against his, and though it was a bit of a strange position, Mokuba liked it. He felt wanted, protected, almost, and he sighed, opening his eyes for only a moment before snuggling closer against his brother. Seto, it seemed, wasn't awake yet, and he could pretend to still be asleep for a little longer, in order to enjoy his brother's embrace. After all, it was Seto's sick leave, and Mokuba didn't want to disturb his rest.
As he slowly returned to consciousness, Seto could feel Mokuba moving in his arms, was conscious of the heat rising to his face as he registered just how close they were…just how much and how inappropriately they were touching… He knew instantly what had happened and that, unfortunately, neither of them had moved in during the night, except perhaps—and he shuddered at the realization—he himself had moved closer to Mokuba. His subconscious, it seemed, was out to destroy his sanity, and as a result, Seto was afraid to really wake up, to face Mokuba, knowing exactly what he’d done to put them in this postion… But he would have to soon, or else things had the potential to get even more out of hand. Somehow he had to untangle them both and get away…to the bathroom, if necessary... “Mokuba,” Seto gulped, opening his eyes and holding his breath, stiffening and trying not to feel anything as he rolled awkwardly onto his back, more color coming to his face as he felt Mokuba’s legs moving against his.
Mokuba was upset to feel Seto rolling away, and murmured unhappily for a moment before opening his eyes again and rolling onto his side to face Seto. He had to, after all, put his best face on, and smiled. "Good morning, Nii-sama!" he greeted cheerfully, but cocked his head after a moment, noticing how stiff his brother seemed as he lay on his back. "Is something wrong? Your face is all red again..." Something about his brother just seemed a little off, but Mokuba couldn't put his finger on it, and so he continued, "I hope you feel better... is there anything I can do for you...?"
“No, I’m fine. Maybe I didn’t sleep well.” Seto said quickly, automatically. He blushed even more as he realized that, in fact, he had slept well—extremely well—just like the night before. He took a deep breath, trying to keep his breathing even and relax enough to bring the color down from his face…a mere distraction really, from the greater problem he had. He closed his eyes and set his jaw, struggling not to think about Mokuba—to think of only numbers and other completely safe topics. But it—it—Seto really didn’t think he could take it or even bare to wait it out…He had to take care of it right away…and he had to make sure Mokuba wasn’t suspicious. “I’m not hungry.” Seto began, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed stiffly, turning his back to Mokuba and standing. “Why don’t you go get some breakfast?” He glanced over his shoulder, but didn’t turn as he began edging away in the direction of the bathroom.
Mokuba watched wordlessly as Seto made his way to the bathroom, wondering just what was wrong. It was obvious that something was wrong, but Mokuba couldn't figure out what it was. It seemed like... it almost seemed like, every time he got close to his brother, Seto would feel worse and pull away. But that was silly, Mokuba knew, because he couldn't possibly be making Seto sicker. He wasn't sick. Right? Right. Shrugging it off, he decided he would think more on it over breakfast, and set off downstairs, his thoughts wandering to what he should eat, and what he should bring back to his brother.
Seto bit down as hard as he possibly could, clenching his jaw and squeezing his eyes shut tightly, concentrating on finishing as quickly as possible and willing himself not to make a sound. When he finally came, he couldn’t entirely stifle the gasp that escaped his lips and he sat for a moment, perfectly still, to catch his breath as he waited, hoping Mokuba was already long since in the kitchen… He took a slow, even breath and got to his feet, moving distractedly to the sink to clean up. Getting off had usually been…just something he did, without much thought… Never like this, never a necessity… And never before had he been forced to work so hard to keep his mind on fantasies deemed “acceptable” or “normal” by society. No…if he’d allowed himself to think about what really got him off, he would have finished much more quickly…but…if he’d allowed that…He didn’t think he’d ever be able to forgive himself…and he knew he’d never allow himself to look at his brother again.
Meanwhile, Seto's mysterious ailment was far from Mokuba's thoughts as he returned to his bedroom, a small plate of bacon and eggs in hand. Upon arriving, he noticed Seto was already back at his desk working, and smiled to himself shaking his head. Seto never really would take a vacation, it seemed, but Mokuba hadn't expected much else, and so he brought the plate over to the desk. "I brought you some breakfast, Nii-sama, in case you get hungry," he commented, setting the dish beside his brother with a smile before retreating back to his own corner.
The morning passed by uneventfully; Mokuba amused himself with solitaire and shogi and other silly things until mid afternoon, when an idea struck him. Returning to his own room again, he retrieved a few DVDs before coming back to Seto's room. Hesitating a moment, waiting until Seto looked as if he had come to a break in his work, he once again came over to the desk. "Hey, Nii-sama... when you need to take a break... want to watch a movie with me?" He smiled hopefully, though, really, he was fully expecting a no.
Seto was just closing a finished file when the question came, and he turned around slowly, glancing down at the movies Mokuba had brought. He’d been working at record speeds the entire afternoon in order to keep himself from thinking about anything beyond the numbers and figures, and, as a result, he’d actually completed his goals for the day…which was unfortunate. He was out of distractions, it seemed, though a movie might be just the thing. “Why not.” He said tightly, rolling his eyes to make it perfectly clear that Mokuba could not expect a similar response in the future. “I’m done for now,” Seto stated, getting to his feet and taking a seat on his bed. “Pick one. I don’t care.”
Mokuba grinned widely, overflowing with a giddy sort of happiness he only got when something went right with Seto. "Okay!" he replied enthusiastically, choosing one of the DVDs and putting it into the DVD player wired to the large flatscreen TV on the wall of Seto's bedroom. Starting the movie, he hurried back and climbed into the bed, sitting down as close as he thought might be acceptable to his brother. Like this, it almost seemed like they were a normal family, like they spent time together... Mokuba would never think of wishing that Seto was sick more often, but he did like this, he liked it a lot...
Seto quickly moved a few extra inches away from Mokuba when he sat, then hurried to reach for something on his bedside table—an excuse for the defensive reaction he hoped Mokuba wouldn’t pay any attention to—grabbing a glass of water and taking a sip. Maybe…maybe a movie wasn’t such a good idea. Through the corner of his eye, Seto watched Mokuba carefully, overly conscious of the way he moved when he took a breath, the way he fidgeted almost imperceptibly as he watched… Seto didn’t really even know what was playing, nor did he care. If he wasn’t so entirely concerned with the inappropriateness of his new ridiculous obsession with his own little brother, Seto knew he would be perfectly satisfied to sit and watch him. It was ridiculous; it was obscene; Seto clenched his fists tightly, digging his nails into his palms and forced his attention to the screen, immediately bored. He wasn’t even sure he could actually make it through the movie… Maybe he could invent some more work—anything.
Though spending most of his attention on the movie, Mokuba did notice that, beside him, his brother still seemed stiff and a little bit ill at ease. After a little while, he blinked over at him, but Seto seemed to be pointedly watching the movie as well, and so, with a bit of a shrug to himself, Mokuba turned back to the screen. Perhaps Seto was still worrying about work, about the things he wasn't getting done because of his medical leave. This seemed believeable enough to Mokuba, and, while he hoped Seto could relax, he knew that his obsession with working was a fact of life. Sighing to himself, he turned his attention back to the movie, hoping Seto would be all right.
Seto noted that Mokuba had turned to look at him, and was slightly comforted to see that he did not seem suspicious in the slightest. If anyone could read him, it would be Mokuba, and as he was oblivious to the battle of hormones and logic occurring in Seto’s sick mind, Seto knew his façade was working. If he slipped up…just once, even, he knew that child services would take his brother away and likely lock away a perverse monster like himself for a lifetime. There was far too much at stake…Somehow, Seto would have to overcome his current “illness” at whatever cost.
At least mulling over his problems provided ample distraction from the dull film…but Seto’s mind seemed to be working in circles. Why was it so difficult to think of a solution? All his life, Seto had trained his mind to overcome any problem it encountered, so why, then, was it so difficult to come up with some way to tame his obscene urges? He worked it through again and again, but things seemed to become increasingly convoluted, and before long, Seto’s head was spinning. He realized that was exhausted…and that, he hoped, was the reason for his trouble finding a solution. He would have to think it through carefully when he was more awake… He could feel himself beginning to drift into sleep, felt his head lull forward, and couldn’t force his eyes open… At least, he thought, as sleep claimed him, he wouldn’t have to watch the movie…at least he wouldn’t do anything inappropriate if he was asleep…
It took Mokuba a moment to realize that Seto was falling asleep, but, when he did, he smiled to himself softly, knowing that it was good for Seto to sleep when he needed to. Still, after two days, it seemed as if he still was recovering from how hard he had pushed himself... Mokuba was glad he had the time to rest. Not wanting to wake him, Mokuba didn't move, deciding he may as well watch the rest of the movie. A few minutes later, however, Mokuba was startled to feel Seto collapsing onto him, and, shifting a little so that they were in a comfortable position, Mokuba let Seto fall to rest with his head in Mokuba's lap. He really did look peaceful in his sleep, and, now laying in this new, tender, almost vulnerable position, Mokuba couldn't help but smile softly to himself, a fluttering like butterflies in his stomach. Looking down at his brother's pretty face, he leaned over, placing a kiss on his forehead. "Sweet dreams, Nii-sama," he whispered softly, before sitting back, still smiling to himself, to see the movie out.
By the time the movie ended, Seto had not woken up, and, not wanting to wake him, Mokuba turned the electronics off with the remote, remaining where he was. Though a great deal of his motivation for not moving was based in his desire to allow Seto to rest, a tiny bit of Mokuba wanted to stay with him, stay together, in this position. Mokuba liked feeling close, being close, and, since he knew, with the slightest bit of sadness, that today was his last day to spend alone with Seto, he didn't want to move apart again just yet.
Seto shifted, still half asleep, and noted that his head seemed to be resting on something warm…something that probably wasn’t a pillow. He didn’t remember falling asleep, in fact, and he wasn’t sure exactly where he was, and he woke with a start to determine where he was. Blushing deeply, he found himself looking up into Mokuba’s eyes, apparently having collapsed into his lap. Furious with himself, Seto sat up so quickly he felt light headed, and scooted away as fast as he could. “Is the movie already over?” He asked hurriedly, glancing to the television and finding the screen blank. “I haven’t been asleep that long, have I?” Seto asked before Mokuba could answer his first question, a slight note of panic creeping into his voice.
"Nii-sama, calm down, it's okay," Mokuba soothed quickly, surprised at how panicked Seto seemed. "The movie ended a couple hours ago, but it's fine. I've been sitting here with you, and it's not like I had anything better to do. I like being with you." Smiling, hoping to calm his brother a little, he added, "You always look so peaceful when you're sleeping... it's really sweet." Giggling a little, that strange butterfly feeling returning, he rose up on his knees and placed a chaste kiss on Seto's cheek. "You should rest up, so you can be better and back to work tomorrow!"
“What are you doing!?” Seto demanded loudly, pushing himself back and away so quickly he toppled over backwards, nearly falling off of the bed and blushing furiously. “Mokuba,” he breathed angrily, putting a hand over his face to hide he blush. “That was…that was…” Seto didn’t really know what to say—he was still in shock. It had happened so quickly…it had felt so…nice. But he couldn’t allow it to happen ever again. “That was unacceptable.” He swallowed, trying to bring his heart rate back to normal. “You should have woken me when I feel asleep.”
"I'm sorry, Nii-sama," Mokuba replied, perplexed. "Is... is something wrong? You're all red in the face again, and..." And you just almost fell off the bed, but Mokuba wasn't really ready to say that... Perhaps Seto was sicker than he looked. "If you're feeling lightheaded, I can go get you something to drink... did the doctor say you had low blood pressure? Or are you anemic? Do you want something to eat?" Moving towards his brother, he leaned in close to him, trying to inspect him somehow. "Maybe you ought to go back to sleep..."
“I’m…I’m fine!” Seto said defensively, holding out his hand to keep Mokuba at arm’s length if necessary. “I’ve already been asleep—what?—four hours? I’m fine!” He reiterated. “After tonight, I’m going back to work, remember? This is…this is nothing. You just…startled me.” He narrowed his eyes and glared at Mokuba, attempting to mask the embarrassment and horror with anger. “Stop worrying so much.”
At Seto's glare, Mokuba shrank back, nodding and sliding off the bed. "Okay, Nii-sama..." Moving back to his little corner, he sat with a sigh, sulking slightly. He hated it when there was obviously something wrong with Seto and he claimed there was nothing, he hated it worse when he told Mokuba not to worry. "But I can tell when something's wrong, Nii-sama, so you don't have to lie. And I can't really stop worrying, you know. Because I love you." It wasn't a plea, it wasn't plaintive... Mokuba was simply stating a fact, looking up at Seto before turning back to his games, trying to decide what else to amuse himself with.
Seto was slightly taken aback by Mokuba’s calm statement and declaration. It wasn’t like he meant to lie…things were just becoming complicated. He sighed and settled back into bed, watching as Mokuba took out his games. “Then I hope you’ll believe me when I tell you I’m not sick.” At least not in the way Mokuba thought he was, Seto thought to himself.
"All right," Mokuba replied without looking up, having chosen a book instead. "I believe you. But... but if there's something wrong... you can always talk to me, okay, Nii-sama?" He met his brother's eyes again for a moment, before, nodding, he returned to his book. He knew Seto would probably have more work to do, and he didn't want to upset him. Perhaps later, when his brother had settled down, he'd ask about something else... but, perhaps, he'd just wait for bed. Being with Seto when he was asleep... Mokuba was beginning to like that a lot... perhaps more than was normal. But since he didn't usually get to spend time with his brother... well, for now, he decided, for this last day of sick leave, it would be okay.
Seto merely grunted and rolled his eyes, getting back up. Like hell he could talk to Mokuba about what was wrong… This was his own problem, his own disgusting issue… He picked up his laptop on his way to his desk and took a seat. He would find something to keep him occupied—anything. He just had to keep his mind off of Mokuba…off of those illicit thoughts and fantasies. Somehow, he would get through it; he would find away to conquer the temptations.
Hours passed, and Seto got further and further ahead in his work, though he had yet to think of a solution. He had been constantly alternating between tomorrow’s projects, and a creating a list of possible things to do to cure his hopeless state; he hadn’t come up with much. When Seto next looked at the clock, however, he realized that once again it had gotten late. “Mokuba.” He stated, turning in his seat to look over at his little brother. “It’s almost midnight.” He got up and began preparing for bed, hoping Mokuba would take a hint…hoping, but not really, that his little brother would decide to spend the night in his own room…
Mokuba had once again fallen asleep, face-down in his book. When he heard his brother's voice, he perked up, nodding sleepily and stumbling to his feet, climbing into bed. Again, he did his best to lay as far from his brother as possible, sighing softly. Tonight was their last night together... Mokuba's last night to sleep with Seto. He was a little saddened, but right now, he was more tired, and so, settling in, he fell quickly back to sleep.
Seto heard Mokuba climb into bed next to him, but did not turn around; he lay facing the wall, determined to ignore Mokuba and forget the fact that he would be sleeping next to…just a few inches from…the object of his recent disturbing fantasies.
Mokuba was awoken in the night by the sound of Seto rolling around in bed beside him, and, expecting it to be morning, opened his eyes. When he was greeted only with darkness, he was surprised, and was about to roll over to see what was going on when, all of a sudden, there was a weight on top of him, an arm wrapping around him, and a body pressed up against his. Startled a bit, Mokuba gasped, but it didn't seem to perturb Seto, who, by his even breathing, Mokuba could tell was still asleep. Still, his arm was firmly around Mokuba's body, almost in an embrace, his leg draped over Mokuba's legs, his body all the way down to his hips pressed tightly against Mokuba's form. For some reason, Mokuba could feel himself blush in the dark, and the butterflies returned to his stomach, but he couldn't deny it, he liked the feeling, he liked it all, and so, after savouring the moment, he snuggled back in against his brother's warm, comforting form, drifting back into a pleasant sleep.
Post 2
See disclaimer, rating, and warnings from the first post.
Seto was conscious of a warmth and a weight pressing against him before he was aware of much else. He was comfortable…extremely comfortable, surprisingly, and he had no desire to move or wake up. Still, he knew he had to, sooner or later, because there was no way the comfort he was experiencing now would last. It had to be a dream… There was something rather heavy on top of his arm, Seto realized, as he flexed his hand, slowly beginning to rouse himself. That at least had to be a real weight, though it felt…right, like it was supposed to be there, exactly as it was. And the warmth continued across his chest, down his side…draped over his leg. Seto shifted, and what felt like—and yet couldn’t be—a body, moved ever so slightly, pressing against him, moving in just such a way as to make Seto gasp, and suck in a breath of air tightly. Assuming what he felt was actually a body—which led Seto to assume he was, in fact, still asleep and having a very realistic dream—there was a leg draped over his hips in just such a way that Seto was tempted to move again, just to feel the exquisite friction.
Seto took in a breath slowly, gathering himself. Discipline was always important, and this was an odd enough dream that he was sure he would only be disappointed if he tried anything else. In fact, it had gone far enough; Seto had work to do, and no time to waste on imagined figures draped over him in such an idealized way. Clenching his jaw, Seto forced himself awake, snapping his eyes open to stare darkly at the ceiling, and flexing in an effort to banish the lingering sensation of the warm weight from his dream. Sighing as the feeling did not disappear, Seto rolled over stiffly, noting the way the arm on his chest and the leg between his slid off of him so realistically—before all thoughts vanished from his mind, replaced by shock, then horror. He’d just about rolled on top of Mokuba, who was, no doubt, waking up, and not only that but, just before, Mokuba had—Seto had—
Seto sprang up off of Mokuba into a sitting position, moving quickly to the end of the bed away from him, and hoping the blush he felt forming on his cheeks would not be visible in the dim morning light. “M-Mokuba, what are you doing here?” Seto asked quickly, ashamed of how breathless, how embarrassed he sounded.
Mokuba had still been sound asleep until he felt a weight moving around him, and then heard Seto's voice. Opening his eyes, he realized, after a moment, that he was coming to in his brother's bedroom... that he had gone to sleep there last night. That was right, it was all coming back to him now, and slowly, with a yawn, he sat up to look at his brother sleepily. "I told you, I'm not leaving until you're better, Nii-sama," he mumbled matter-of-factly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "And you told me not to sleep on the floor last night, so I got in bed with you." Looking around, he realized he was intruding into Seto's half of the bed, and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry if I got in your way last night... I didn't mean to."
Rubbing his eyes again, Mokuba looked up at his brother to realize that his face was slightly flushed, and he was breathing slightly heavily. Worried, Mokuba furrowed his brow... perhaps Seto was getting sicker? "Nii-sama," he addressed carefully, rising onto his knees and leaning closer to Seto, placing a hand on his forehead, "Are you running a fever? You feel a little warm, and your face is all red..."
Seto removed Mokuba’s hand from his face and did not release his wrist, glaring and clenching his jaw. “No, I’m fine,” Seto said tightly. “I just wasn’t expecting to find you here.” He said through clenched teeth, releasing Mokuba and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “I don’t care where you sleep,” Seto began, standing, “but it would be nice if you would show some consideration and give me some more space.” He folded his arms and turned back to Mokuba sternly. “You were practically on top of me this morning.”
Mokuba fell back onto the bed when his brother released him, blinking and fighting the urge to rub the bruise he was sure was now forming on his wrist. Seto, he knew, had a very firm grip, and he was sure his brother never meant to hurt him, even though, whenever he grasped Mokuba with any intention, it always hurt. Still, bruises were a small price to pay for the contact, and so Mokuba nodded quickly, immediately appologetic. "I'm sorry, Nii-sama-- I didn't mean to! I promise, I'll be better tonight. I'll stay all the way on the other side, okay?" He was glad that Seto wasn't throwing him out, after all. Though he liked sleeping close, it was better to be in Seto's bed and far away than out of the room altogether.
“Fine, just don’t crowd me.” Seto grumbled, moving to his closet and removing a black turtleneck. “You’d sleep better in your own bed, I’m sure.” He said blandly, trying his best to sound as if he didn’t care either way, because he didn’t want Mokuba to think that he did. On the one hand, he absolutely did not want a repeat of this morning’s…confusion, but on the other, there was some part of Seto that somehow wanted Mokuba to stay close… It was stupid, really, but he didn’t think he’d slept so well in a very long time. It was, of course, probably because he’d been so exhausted…
He strode across the room to retrieve his laptop and moved to his desk in front of the window, taking a seat. “I have some work to do. And I’m not hungry, so don’t wait for me for breakfast.” Seto added, deciding the safest thing to do now would be to have some time alone to recover from the morning’s first mishap.
"Oh, okay..." Mokuba replied a little dejectedly. "I'll go eat, then. Let me know when you're hungry, so I can have them send something for you, okay?" Looking over at his brother, Mokuba sighed, and added, "Nii-sama... you should be in bed..." Still, he knew, Seto was bound to do whatever he liked, and so, with another sigh, he left for his breakfast.
Mokuba dressed, and then ate as fast as he could, wanting to get back to Seto as soon as possible, sitting in the kitchen and shovelling his cereal into his face in record time. Stuffing a few muffins into his pockets in case Seto got hungry, he hurried back up to the top floor, to Seto's bedroom. When he got inside, he noticed Seto still seemed to be deeply immersed in his work, and did his best to be quiet, so as not to disturb him. After all, the sooner he got done, the sooner he got to rest... Setting the muffins on the nightstand, Mokuba quietly made his way to Seto's side, peering over his shoulder at what he was doing. After all, now that Kaiba Land was completed and open, Mokuba was wondering what Seto's new project was.
Seto paused a moment in his work to rub his eyes, again beginning to feel tired. His…weakness…the exhaustion that he could now admit he suffered from, was wearing on his nerves. It was frustrating, and Seto was beginning to feel like he couldn’t finish anything… Perhaps it would be better to rest a little longer. At least, sleeping now, he wouldn’t have to worry about where Mokuba was in relation to him…
Seto turned in his seat quickly—too quickly—and found himself nose to nose with his little brother, gasping as the blood rushed to his face in a hot blush. “Mokuba—” He hissed, startled and embarrassed more by his reaction then by their proximity—almost touching—almost kissing. He pulled back immediately, turning away, and lifting a hand to cover his face, hoping against hope that Mokuba hadn’t noticed his expression. “I hope you didn’t choke eating so fast.” Seto grimaced, attempting a cover.
"I didn't," Mokuba replied matter-of-factly, furrowing his brow at his brother's flushed face. That was the second time today... "Nii-sama," he started, putting his hands on his hips and trying to sound stern. "You really don't look well. Are you sure you're not feverish? You should be in bed." Leaning over his brother's lap and placing one hand on his leg for support, Mokuba pressed his other palm to Seto's forehead. "You really do feel a little warm. You should stop overworking yourself, Nii-sama. The doctor did say to stay in bed." Looking into Seto's eyes, he tried his best to sound responsible and adult-seeming, hoping his brother would listen.
Seto’s blush only intensified as the soft pressure of Mokuba’s hand on his thigh registered. This contact—and Seto’s reaction to it—sent a new wave of guilt through him. It was his brother, Seto reminded himself, and it was a purely innocent action on the part of an eleven year old. Even so, in his current state, his current mainframe, Seto couldn’t take it, and quickly pushed Mokuba away, fearing that he would simply continue to react deplorably to any sort of normal contact. “I’m fine!” Seto shouted angrily, upset with himself, not with his brother—which he was sure Mokuba would assume. “Really, it’s nothing. I don’t have a fever.” Seto said quickly, defensively.
Startled by the shove, Mokuba stumbled, barely catching his balance without falling to the ground. His stomach knotted as he looked back up at his brother pathetically, on the verge of tears. After all-- Seto never shoved him, not hard enough for him to fall-- except for once. Sure, he manhandled Mokuba a bit, but Mokuba didn't mind a tug or a little push... but this, this brought the memories flooding back from the worst day of Mokuba's life, made him hear Seto's thirteen-year-old voice calling him a traitor, made him relive the moments of pain he did his best to bury away.
"Nii-sama," he managed, but his voice was trembling, and so he paused, swallowing and trying again. "Nii-sama... I'm just worried about you! The doctor told you to stay in bed and not to work and..." Wavering, the first tears began to fall, no matter how hard he fought them away. "I don't want anything bad to happen to you!"
Seto sighed, exasperated at seeing the tears in Mokuba’s eyes. He felt slightly guilty, realizing the push had been a little too hard, but he was of the opinion that Mokuba was overreacting. “Nothing “bad” will happen to me.” Seto said firmly. “I’m sorry,” he admitted, though he rolled his eyes as he said it, “this whole ordeal is ridiculous anyway—I can take care of myself.” He turned and closed his laptop to emphasize, standing and moving back to the bed. “So stop wasting all of your effort worrying about me, Mokuba.”
Mokuba wiped at his tears with the back of his hand and nodded, smiling pathetically as he watched Seto get back in bed. At least now he was resting... And, of course, Seto was easy to forgive. "I'm sorry, too... is there anything I can get for you now? I brought you some food earlier, it's over there..." He pointed to the muffins that he had forgotten momentarily, offerring a hopeful smile.
“Yes.” Seto said quickly, an idea forming. He needed to be alone…to talk himself out any future ridiculous reactions to inadvertent and obviously innocent actions Mokuba was likely to commit. “There’s some data I need.” He continued, mentally going through each and every one of the files on his computer, searching for one that he might need updated for some reason—anything to give him a legitimate reason to send Mokuba away. “I want the latest data from the Duel Monsters Database located in Kaiba Land’s central coliseum processing CPU.” There, that, at least, was something he couldn’t access from his laptop. “I have to run a regression analysis on the cards being used in our tournaments.” That was information Mokuba didn’t even really need to know, but Seto felt it necessary in order to flesh out the excuse to send Mokuba away.
"Oh," Mokuba replied, blinked. "Okay, sure! I'll go as fast as I can!" Smiling, he wagged a finger at his brother teasingly. "Now, you try to get some rest while I go get it for you, okay, Nii-sama?" And with that, he departed, jogging out of his brother's room, glad to be being of use.
Seto watched as Mokuba hurried out of the door, and sat, in silence for a moment to gather his thoughts. All of this…his reactions to Mokuba’s every innocent action…was really getting out of hand. Seto didn’t think a heightened physical response to everyday physical contact was a symptom of over-exhaustion—and becoming suddenly overly conscious of one’s brother’s every movement surely did not result from a lack of sleep. No, this was beginning to become a problem. Seto had always prided himself on his self control, his discipline, and had never been a victim of any base hormonal drives. And yet, something about this morning…and now something about Mokuba in general was putting him entirely on edge.
It was absolutely absurd! Honestly, his own brother? Seto asked himself accusatively, and found no answer. What was wrong with him? It was true…he generally tried to think of himself and Mokuba not as siblings, because that often made it easier to discipline, advise, and instruct Mokuba… But then, what did Seto consider himself? A parent? That was somehow even worse. Seto dropped his face into his hands and rubbed his temples, trying to find some explanation for his current irrational and utterly perverse overreactions to Mokuba’s behavior.
Perhaps it was just the time spent in such close proximity? It was true, it had been a long time since they’d been so close for so long. The answer, then, was to disallow Mokuba from keeping him company, and certainly from sleeping with him again. But things had been slightly off with Mokuba lately, ever since that confrontation in which Noa had come up… Seto didn’t want to risk creating any more doubts in Mokuba’s mind by sending him away, even though that took away his only option for avoiding future awkward situations and the inevitable inappropriate and disproportionate response.
Seto acknowledged that this morning could have been much much worse… If anything like that were to happen again, he wasn’t sure if he could stop himself…if he could keep his reaction in check. He took a deep breath and lifted his head, looking out the window to the grounds. He’d devoted his whole life to working for a future for himself, and especially for Mokuba. If…if he fell apart like this now, if he descended into the inferior instinctual behavior expected of his contemporaries, what kind of example could he set? What was more, if he did unintentionally do something to Mokuba, what kind of damage would he do? Seto’s situation was serious; unless he could shape up, he would have to take some sort of preventative action, as much for Mokuba’s safety as for his own emotional health.
It took him a while, but, finally, Mokuba got the information his brother wanted, and, flash drive in hand, he hurried back to his brother's bedroom, triumphant. "Nii-sama! It's here." Running over to the bed, he practically jumped into it beside Seto and nearly toppled into his lap in his over-enthusiastic ardour, but he was filled with endorphens from running all the way back in his excitement at being useful. "Here it all is!" he excalimed, proffering the drive to Seto with a wide grin.
“Watch it!” Seto hissed, quickly pulling away before Mokuba touched him; he was taking no chances. Seto took the drive from his bother carefully, once again avoiding any contact, and pulled his computer into his lap, inserting the drive. “Good,” he said blandly. “Thank you for getting this data for me.” He scrolled through, curious as to whether there actually were any notable trends, but far too distracted to really work on any computations now. “I’ll…need it later.” Seto explained, looking back up at Mokuba, hoping the despair and self condemnation didn’t show in his expression.
"Sorry, sorry!" Mokuba apologized quickly, sitting back on his heels, but any doubt was pushed entirely from his mind when Seto thanked him. "Oh, it's no problem! I'm glad it's what you needed!" Mokuba exclaimed, overjoyed at being even slightly appreciated, "Let me know if there's anything else you need, I want to do everything I can for you, okay, Nii-sama?"
“That’s—that’s not necessary!” Seto said quickly—too quickly—before he’d realized what Mokuba was actually referring to. “N-No, that’s all I needed. I have…some other work to get done.” It was true, Seto did have other work he should be doing, but Mokuba’s presence was slightly distracting. He could tell Mokuba was overjoyed that he’d been of use, and Seto felt slightly guilty for sending him on a superfluous errand. Still…Mokuba didn’t have to know, and it was better if he was happy.
Sighing, Seto closed the file containing the data Mokuba had retrieved and opened his current project. He had to finish it today, or else he would be behind the schedule he’d set at the beginning of the month and his future projects would suffer. He was feeling considerably better all ready, and was quite sure he wouldn’t have a problem staying awake tonight, luckily. As long as Mokuba didn’t distract him, or, more accurately, as long as his own thoughts about Mokuba left him in peace, he would be able to finish without issue.
Sure enough, Seto managed to complete his work, and in relatively good time. It was only midnight when he checked the clock, and with a slightly smug smirk, Seto announced his completion. “I finished, Mokuba. I’m going to bed—do what you like.” Seto couldn’t, in the end, bring himself to tell Mokuba to leave the room, but that didn’t stop him from hoping Mokuba would decide to spend the night in his own bed. Resigned to somehow managed, regardless of what Mokuba chose, Seto closed his computer, placed it securely on his bedside table, and began arranging his covers and pillows for sleep.
Mokuba had, meanwhile, been dozing off on the floor again, curled up beside the game of go he had been playing against himself. At Seto's voice, he looked up drowsily, and nodded quickly, climbing to his feet and into bed with Seto. Dutifully, he situated himself on the far side of the bed, facing away from Seto, and tucked himself under the covers, too sleepy to think about much besides bed. "G'night, Nii-sama," he murmured as he saw the lights go out, falling back to sleep...
For a moment, Mokuba doesn't realize where he is, not until he sees Seto walking down the hall at him pointedly, an outraged look on his face. It is Seto, but it's not; it's Seto at thirteen, shorter, still a child. Still, he looms over Mokuba, placing Mokuba at about eight, and suddenly, Mokuba realizes, Mokuba knows what's about to happen.
"Traitor!" he hears Seto declare, and he squeezes his eyes shut, waiting for what he knows will come next. Sure enough, he's hit, thrown to the ground by the force of it, and after impacting the floor with a resonating thud, he opens his eyes, and is terrified to find that it's the brother he knows now glowering down at him. He's eleven again, and he's terrified as Seto looks him straight in the eye and says "I hate you, Mokuba."
Seto turns on his heel and begins to walk away, and Mokuba tries to get to his feet but stumbles, tears streaming down his cheeks as he reaches out desperately. "Nii-sama!" he shrieks, but Seto doesn't turn back, doesn't flinch. "Nii-sama, I'm sorry!" But his brother might as well be deaf, because he's all but gone into the fog now, and Mokuba is bawling and screaming because he knows that, without Seto, he's nothing, without Seto, he's lost everything.
Seto’s eyes snapped open and he froze, waiting. He’d been abruptly torn from a dreamless sleep by a noise, a calling voice, and he stiffened, waiting to hear it again. He felt Mokuba moving in the bed next to him, felt him turn and take some of the covers with him. Then, Mokuba called out his name, apologizing for something, and Seto felt his gut wrench. He rolled over to face his brother, moving close to him and hesitantly reached forward blindly in the dark, finding his shoulder and shaking it lightly. He hoped he’d never hear that same agonizing apology… He knew he had to rescue Mokuba from whatever horrible thing he’d done. “Mokuba,” Seto said softly, giving him a light shake, “wake up. You’re dreaming.”
Mokuba awoke with a start, poised to cry out again when he realized that he was in bed. He was disoreinted, panicked a moment, before he remembered, he was in bed with Seto. It was then that he felt a hand on his shoulder, a strong, comforting hand, his brother's hand. Just barely, through the dark, he could sort-of half make out Seto's form facing him, and he trembled a moment before asking shakily, "Nii-sama...?" This made sense, this was right, but it was still so vivid in his mind, the words, the slap, and all of a sudden, he crumbled with a pitiful sob, descending once more into hysterics. Still he knew he was being childish, and, filled with leftover fear from the dream, didn't want to anger Seto. "I-I'm sorry, Nii-sama... I didn't mean to-- to wake you..." he managed to choke out, wiping at his eyes feverishly even as more tears came, "I'm... I'm sorry..."
“It was just a dream.” Seto said firmly, but as reassuringly as he could. “It’s fine…I don’t mind…” Hesitantly, Seto tightened his grip on Mokuba and pulled him closer, into his arms. “It was just a dream, okay? Everything’s all right…” What should have felt like perfectly acceptable behavior for brothers somehow now seemed a little inappropriate for Seto… He wanted to comfort Mokuba, and yet he couldn’t help but remember the awkward position in which he’d found himself just that morning… This was nearly a repeat—the same warm comfortable weight in his arms, and the same small body pressed up against him… Seto closed his eyes and set his jaw, trying to breathe evenly while holding on to Mokuba tightly and trying not to think about any of that. He didn’t want Mokuba to be afraid; that was what was most important, that was his duty as a brother. Whatever problems Seto had, they simply had to be set aside for Mokuba—that was how it always had been and always would be.
Mokuba pressed his face into Seto's chest, infinitely grateful for the physical comfort. Nodding in response to Seto's words, his crying began to slow... after all, how, when he was being held so tightly, could he ever even picture his brother walking away from him? In fact, being this close... it was something Mokuba wished would happen more often. He liked being in Seto's embrace, it made him feel warm and loved and comfortable and contented, made him remember that, even though Seto worked all the time and never really wanted to spend time with him, he still loved Mokuba. Reassured, comforted, his fears banished, all of a sudden, Mokuba couldn't keep his eyes open anymore, and, snuggling into the crook of Seto's shoulder with a serene smile on his lips, Mokuba murmured, "I love you Nii-sama," before drifting back off to sleep.
Seto froze, realizing Mokuba had fallen asleep once again. He didn’t want to move—not until Mokuba was asleep enough not to notice; he didn’t want to risk waking Mokuba again. Minutes passed, and still Seto didn’t dare to move or hardly even breathe. For one thing, he was desperate to allow Mokuba to continue to sleep, and for another, he was terrified that the slightest movement on his part would trigger some kind of unwanted response on his part… There were any number of ways this venture could go array, Seto knew, based on Mokuba’s proximity and position in particular. One false move and they were likely to…well Seto knew his all too amped up hormones would interpret the contact in an entirely unacceptable manner. Seto was therefore left with little to no choice in his position, and so, resigned to his fate, he managed, after several minutes of holding completely still, to fall back asleep once again. Hopefully, by the time he woke up, they would have both drifted apart in their sleep…
Mokuba awoke feeling warm and comfortable, and was reluctant to open his eyes and face reality. After all, lying here, in his brother's embrace... it was better than any other morning he could remember. Even if the position was a bit awkward... His head was sticll tucked in the crook of Seto's neck, and Seto's arms were still around him, but Seto, it seemed, had rolled a bit on top of him in the night, and their legs were all tangled together. Seto's hips were pressed lightly against his, Seto's head, lulled slightly sideways against his, and though it was a bit of a strange position, Mokuba liked it. He felt wanted, protected, almost, and he sighed, opening his eyes for only a moment before snuggling closer against his brother. Seto, it seemed, wasn't awake yet, and he could pretend to still be asleep for a little longer, in order to enjoy his brother's embrace. After all, it was Seto's sick leave, and Mokuba didn't want to disturb his rest.
As he slowly returned to consciousness, Seto could feel Mokuba moving in his arms, was conscious of the heat rising to his face as he registered just how close they were…just how much and how inappropriately they were touching… He knew instantly what had happened and that, unfortunately, neither of them had moved in during the night, except perhaps—and he shuddered at the realization—he himself had moved closer to Mokuba. His subconscious, it seemed, was out to destroy his sanity, and as a result, Seto was afraid to really wake up, to face Mokuba, knowing exactly what he’d done to put them in this postion… But he would have to soon, or else things had the potential to get even more out of hand. Somehow he had to untangle them both and get away…to the bathroom, if necessary... “Mokuba,” Seto gulped, opening his eyes and holding his breath, stiffening and trying not to feel anything as he rolled awkwardly onto his back, more color coming to his face as he felt Mokuba’s legs moving against his.
Mokuba was upset to feel Seto rolling away, and murmured unhappily for a moment before opening his eyes again and rolling onto his side to face Seto. He had to, after all, put his best face on, and smiled. "Good morning, Nii-sama!" he greeted cheerfully, but cocked his head after a moment, noticing how stiff his brother seemed as he lay on his back. "Is something wrong? Your face is all red again..." Something about his brother just seemed a little off, but Mokuba couldn't put his finger on it, and so he continued, "I hope you feel better... is there anything I can do for you...?"
“No, I’m fine. Maybe I didn’t sleep well.” Seto said quickly, automatically. He blushed even more as he realized that, in fact, he had slept well—extremely well—just like the night before. He took a deep breath, trying to keep his breathing even and relax enough to bring the color down from his face…a mere distraction really, from the greater problem he had. He closed his eyes and set his jaw, struggling not to think about Mokuba—to think of only numbers and other completely safe topics. But it—it—Seto really didn’t think he could take it or even bare to wait it out…He had to take care of it right away…and he had to make sure Mokuba wasn’t suspicious. “I’m not hungry.” Seto began, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed stiffly, turning his back to Mokuba and standing. “Why don’t you go get some breakfast?” He glanced over his shoulder, but didn’t turn as he began edging away in the direction of the bathroom.
Mokuba watched wordlessly as Seto made his way to the bathroom, wondering just what was wrong. It was obvious that something was wrong, but Mokuba couldn't figure out what it was. It seemed like... it almost seemed like, every time he got close to his brother, Seto would feel worse and pull away. But that was silly, Mokuba knew, because he couldn't possibly be making Seto sicker. He wasn't sick. Right? Right. Shrugging it off, he decided he would think more on it over breakfast, and set off downstairs, his thoughts wandering to what he should eat, and what he should bring back to his brother.
Seto bit down as hard as he possibly could, clenching his jaw and squeezing his eyes shut tightly, concentrating on finishing as quickly as possible and willing himself not to make a sound. When he finally came, he couldn’t entirely stifle the gasp that escaped his lips and he sat for a moment, perfectly still, to catch his breath as he waited, hoping Mokuba was already long since in the kitchen… He took a slow, even breath and got to his feet, moving distractedly to the sink to clean up. Getting off had usually been…just something he did, without much thought… Never like this, never a necessity… And never before had he been forced to work so hard to keep his mind on fantasies deemed “acceptable” or “normal” by society. No…if he’d allowed himself to think about what really got him off, he would have finished much more quickly…but…if he’d allowed that…He didn’t think he’d ever be able to forgive himself…and he knew he’d never allow himself to look at his brother again.
Meanwhile, Seto's mysterious ailment was far from Mokuba's thoughts as he returned to his bedroom, a small plate of bacon and eggs in hand. Upon arriving, he noticed Seto was already back at his desk working, and smiled to himself shaking his head. Seto never really would take a vacation, it seemed, but Mokuba hadn't expected much else, and so he brought the plate over to the desk. "I brought you some breakfast, Nii-sama, in case you get hungry," he commented, setting the dish beside his brother with a smile before retreating back to his own corner.
The morning passed by uneventfully; Mokuba amused himself with solitaire and shogi and other silly things until mid afternoon, when an idea struck him. Returning to his own room again, he retrieved a few DVDs before coming back to Seto's room. Hesitating a moment, waiting until Seto looked as if he had come to a break in his work, he once again came over to the desk. "Hey, Nii-sama... when you need to take a break... want to watch a movie with me?" He smiled hopefully, though, really, he was fully expecting a no.
Seto was just closing a finished file when the question came, and he turned around slowly, glancing down at the movies Mokuba had brought. He’d been working at record speeds the entire afternoon in order to keep himself from thinking about anything beyond the numbers and figures, and, as a result, he’d actually completed his goals for the day…which was unfortunate. He was out of distractions, it seemed, though a movie might be just the thing. “Why not.” He said tightly, rolling his eyes to make it perfectly clear that Mokuba could not expect a similar response in the future. “I’m done for now,” Seto stated, getting to his feet and taking a seat on his bed. “Pick one. I don’t care.”
Mokuba grinned widely, overflowing with a giddy sort of happiness he only got when something went right with Seto. "Okay!" he replied enthusiastically, choosing one of the DVDs and putting it into the DVD player wired to the large flatscreen TV on the wall of Seto's bedroom. Starting the movie, he hurried back and climbed into the bed, sitting down as close as he thought might be acceptable to his brother. Like this, it almost seemed like they were a normal family, like they spent time together... Mokuba would never think of wishing that Seto was sick more often, but he did like this, he liked it a lot...
Seto quickly moved a few extra inches away from Mokuba when he sat, then hurried to reach for something on his bedside table—an excuse for the defensive reaction he hoped Mokuba wouldn’t pay any attention to—grabbing a glass of water and taking a sip. Maybe…maybe a movie wasn’t such a good idea. Through the corner of his eye, Seto watched Mokuba carefully, overly conscious of the way he moved when he took a breath, the way he fidgeted almost imperceptibly as he watched… Seto didn’t really even know what was playing, nor did he care. If he wasn’t so entirely concerned with the inappropriateness of his new ridiculous obsession with his own little brother, Seto knew he would be perfectly satisfied to sit and watch him. It was ridiculous; it was obscene; Seto clenched his fists tightly, digging his nails into his palms and forced his attention to the screen, immediately bored. He wasn’t even sure he could actually make it through the movie… Maybe he could invent some more work—anything.
Though spending most of his attention on the movie, Mokuba did notice that, beside him, his brother still seemed stiff and a little bit ill at ease. After a little while, he blinked over at him, but Seto seemed to be pointedly watching the movie as well, and so, with a bit of a shrug to himself, Mokuba turned back to the screen. Perhaps Seto was still worrying about work, about the things he wasn't getting done because of his medical leave. This seemed believeable enough to Mokuba, and, while he hoped Seto could relax, he knew that his obsession with working was a fact of life. Sighing to himself, he turned his attention back to the movie, hoping Seto would be all right.
Seto noted that Mokuba had turned to look at him, and was slightly comforted to see that he did not seem suspicious in the slightest. If anyone could read him, it would be Mokuba, and as he was oblivious to the battle of hormones and logic occurring in Seto’s sick mind, Seto knew his façade was working. If he slipped up…just once, even, he knew that child services would take his brother away and likely lock away a perverse monster like himself for a lifetime. There was far too much at stake…Somehow, Seto would have to overcome his current “illness” at whatever cost.
At least mulling over his problems provided ample distraction from the dull film…but Seto’s mind seemed to be working in circles. Why was it so difficult to think of a solution? All his life, Seto had trained his mind to overcome any problem it encountered, so why, then, was it so difficult to come up with some way to tame his obscene urges? He worked it through again and again, but things seemed to become increasingly convoluted, and before long, Seto’s head was spinning. He realized that was exhausted…and that, he hoped, was the reason for his trouble finding a solution. He would have to think it through carefully when he was more awake… He could feel himself beginning to drift into sleep, felt his head lull forward, and couldn’t force his eyes open… At least, he thought, as sleep claimed him, he wouldn’t have to watch the movie…at least he wouldn’t do anything inappropriate if he was asleep…
It took Mokuba a moment to realize that Seto was falling asleep, but, when he did, he smiled to himself softly, knowing that it was good for Seto to sleep when he needed to. Still, after two days, it seemed as if he still was recovering from how hard he had pushed himself... Mokuba was glad he had the time to rest. Not wanting to wake him, Mokuba didn't move, deciding he may as well watch the rest of the movie. A few minutes later, however, Mokuba was startled to feel Seto collapsing onto him, and, shifting a little so that they were in a comfortable position, Mokuba let Seto fall to rest with his head in Mokuba's lap. He really did look peaceful in his sleep, and, now laying in this new, tender, almost vulnerable position, Mokuba couldn't help but smile softly to himself, a fluttering like butterflies in his stomach. Looking down at his brother's pretty face, he leaned over, placing a kiss on his forehead. "Sweet dreams, Nii-sama," he whispered softly, before sitting back, still smiling to himself, to see the movie out.
By the time the movie ended, Seto had not woken up, and, not wanting to wake him, Mokuba turned the electronics off with the remote, remaining where he was. Though a great deal of his motivation for not moving was based in his desire to allow Seto to rest, a tiny bit of Mokuba wanted to stay with him, stay together, in this position. Mokuba liked feeling close, being close, and, since he knew, with the slightest bit of sadness, that today was his last day to spend alone with Seto, he didn't want to move apart again just yet.
Seto shifted, still half asleep, and noted that his head seemed to be resting on something warm…something that probably wasn’t a pillow. He didn’t remember falling asleep, in fact, and he wasn’t sure exactly where he was, and he woke with a start to determine where he was. Blushing deeply, he found himself looking up into Mokuba’s eyes, apparently having collapsed into his lap. Furious with himself, Seto sat up so quickly he felt light headed, and scooted away as fast as he could. “Is the movie already over?” He asked hurriedly, glancing to the television and finding the screen blank. “I haven’t been asleep that long, have I?” Seto asked before Mokuba could answer his first question, a slight note of panic creeping into his voice.
"Nii-sama, calm down, it's okay," Mokuba soothed quickly, surprised at how panicked Seto seemed. "The movie ended a couple hours ago, but it's fine. I've been sitting here with you, and it's not like I had anything better to do. I like being with you." Smiling, hoping to calm his brother a little, he added, "You always look so peaceful when you're sleeping... it's really sweet." Giggling a little, that strange butterfly feeling returning, he rose up on his knees and placed a chaste kiss on Seto's cheek. "You should rest up, so you can be better and back to work tomorrow!"
“What are you doing!?” Seto demanded loudly, pushing himself back and away so quickly he toppled over backwards, nearly falling off of the bed and blushing furiously. “Mokuba,” he breathed angrily, putting a hand over his face to hide he blush. “That was…that was…” Seto didn’t really know what to say—he was still in shock. It had happened so quickly…it had felt so…nice. But he couldn’t allow it to happen ever again. “That was unacceptable.” He swallowed, trying to bring his heart rate back to normal. “You should have woken me when I feel asleep.”
"I'm sorry, Nii-sama," Mokuba replied, perplexed. "Is... is something wrong? You're all red in the face again, and..." And you just almost fell off the bed, but Mokuba wasn't really ready to say that... Perhaps Seto was sicker than he looked. "If you're feeling lightheaded, I can go get you something to drink... did the doctor say you had low blood pressure? Or are you anemic? Do you want something to eat?" Moving towards his brother, he leaned in close to him, trying to inspect him somehow. "Maybe you ought to go back to sleep..."
“I’m…I’m fine!” Seto said defensively, holding out his hand to keep Mokuba at arm’s length if necessary. “I’ve already been asleep—what?—four hours? I’m fine!” He reiterated. “After tonight, I’m going back to work, remember? This is…this is nothing. You just…startled me.” He narrowed his eyes and glared at Mokuba, attempting to mask the embarrassment and horror with anger. “Stop worrying so much.”
At Seto's glare, Mokuba shrank back, nodding and sliding off the bed. "Okay, Nii-sama..." Moving back to his little corner, he sat with a sigh, sulking slightly. He hated it when there was obviously something wrong with Seto and he claimed there was nothing, he hated it worse when he told Mokuba not to worry. "But I can tell when something's wrong, Nii-sama, so you don't have to lie. And I can't really stop worrying, you know. Because I love you." It wasn't a plea, it wasn't plaintive... Mokuba was simply stating a fact, looking up at Seto before turning back to his games, trying to decide what else to amuse himself with.
Seto was slightly taken aback by Mokuba’s calm statement and declaration. It wasn’t like he meant to lie…things were just becoming complicated. He sighed and settled back into bed, watching as Mokuba took out his games. “Then I hope you’ll believe me when I tell you I’m not sick.” At least not in the way Mokuba thought he was, Seto thought to himself.
"All right," Mokuba replied without looking up, having chosen a book instead. "I believe you. But... but if there's something wrong... you can always talk to me, okay, Nii-sama?" He met his brother's eyes again for a moment, before, nodding, he returned to his book. He knew Seto would probably have more work to do, and he didn't want to upset him. Perhaps later, when his brother had settled down, he'd ask about something else... but, perhaps, he'd just wait for bed. Being with Seto when he was asleep... Mokuba was beginning to like that a lot... perhaps more than was normal. But since he didn't usually get to spend time with his brother... well, for now, he decided, for this last day of sick leave, it would be okay.
Seto merely grunted and rolled his eyes, getting back up. Like hell he could talk to Mokuba about what was wrong… This was his own problem, his own disgusting issue… He picked up his laptop on his way to his desk and took a seat. He would find something to keep him occupied—anything. He just had to keep his mind off of Mokuba…off of those illicit thoughts and fantasies. Somehow, he would get through it; he would find away to conquer the temptations.
Hours passed, and Seto got further and further ahead in his work, though he had yet to think of a solution. He had been constantly alternating between tomorrow’s projects, and a creating a list of possible things to do to cure his hopeless state; he hadn’t come up with much. When Seto next looked at the clock, however, he realized that once again it had gotten late. “Mokuba.” He stated, turning in his seat to look over at his little brother. “It’s almost midnight.” He got up and began preparing for bed, hoping Mokuba would take a hint…hoping, but not really, that his little brother would decide to spend the night in his own room…
Mokuba had once again fallen asleep, face-down in his book. When he heard his brother's voice, he perked up, nodding sleepily and stumbling to his feet, climbing into bed. Again, he did his best to lay as far from his brother as possible, sighing softly. Tonight was their last night together... Mokuba's last night to sleep with Seto. He was a little saddened, but right now, he was more tired, and so, settling in, he fell quickly back to sleep.
Seto heard Mokuba climb into bed next to him, but did not turn around; he lay facing the wall, determined to ignore Mokuba and forget the fact that he would be sleeping next to…just a few inches from…the object of his recent disturbing fantasies.
Mokuba was awoken in the night by the sound of Seto rolling around in bed beside him, and, expecting it to be morning, opened his eyes. When he was greeted only with darkness, he was surprised, and was about to roll over to see what was going on when, all of a sudden, there was a weight on top of him, an arm wrapping around him, and a body pressed up against his. Startled a bit, Mokuba gasped, but it didn't seem to perturb Seto, who, by his even breathing, Mokuba could tell was still asleep. Still, his arm was firmly around Mokuba's body, almost in an embrace, his leg draped over Mokuba's legs, his body all the way down to his hips pressed tightly against Mokuba's form. For some reason, Mokuba could feel himself blush in the dark, and the butterflies returned to his stomach, but he couldn't deny it, he liked the feeling, he liked it all, and so, after savouring the moment, he snuggled back in against his brother's warm, comforting form, drifting back into a pleasant sleep.
