Meme taken from ssempai

[faded_lace]

This meme is strangely deep for a meme as ssempai said... o___o;; I really hope anyone doesn't read too far into it, but I also hope that people do read it in general. I don't want people to assume any comments are made directly at them, but at the same time, I want people to understand my feelings. Please note that none of these are in any order... I wrote them as they hit me.

Ten things I wish I could say to 10 different people right now:
⓵ I love you so much. Sometimes I feel like you don't want to be around me, and that we grew apart... when I think about it, I cry, and so I really hope it isn't true. I've loved you for so much of my life and I still love you, no matter what. I miss you and I want to be together again...
⓶ I worry for you. I hope you can take care of yourself, and a lot of times, I question your ability to do so... but I love you, and I have confidence that, even if it takes time, you'll be able to succeed.
⓷ I'm glad we were able to get close this past spring, and I really hope you don't judge me for being who I am. I also hope you know that I love you and definitely want to hang out more in the future!
⓸ I really like you. I love spending time with you. I have so much fun with you. Sometimes I wonder if you like to be around me, though.
⓹ I'm still terrified you hate me. I really feel like you don't like being around me. I want to spend time with you. I want to get closer to you. But I'm afraid that you would hate that.
⓺ I really worry about you. I've been really fond of you since I met you back in the summer of 2005. You're so much fun and it's great to talk to you. But I want you to be happy and to be able to succeed, and I want you to find love. I'm always rooting for you!
⓻ Sometimes I don't understand you. I hate it when you say you're okay and you're really not. I love you to bits and I want you to be happy. I miss you, and I want to be able to be there for you. I hope we can be together again sometime soon.
⓼ I can't help but feel that you're judging me sometimes. I don't agree with some of the things you argue. I love spending time with you, but I always feel like maybe you look at me differently for being who I am.
⓽ I wish you would accept me for who I am. I wish you would understand how I feel. I wish you wouldn't see me as a constant disappointment, a failure that you somehow messed up.
⓾ I love you more than words can express. Though sometimes I know I'm selfish and sometimes I really do feel like you do really obnoxious things that I have a right to be angry at you about, in the end, I love you with all of my heart, and I want you to be happy. I want to be with you forever.

Nine Things about Myself:
⓵ I am selfish.
⓶ I am self-conscious.
⓷ I need attention and constant reassurance
⓸ I am assertive
⓹ I am confrontational
⓺ I am a steadfast feminist
⓻ I am a lesbian
⓼ I have a girlfriend who I love very much
⓽ I am a a half-breed child and because of this, I am always conscious of people outside of the majority.

Eight Ways to Win My Heart:
⓵ Spend time with me
⓶ Love me
⓷ Tell me I'm beautiful, intelligent, kind--something. Tell me I'm not worthless.
⓸ Don't try to rape me kthanx.
⓹ Talk to me
⓺ Catch me when I fall, care for me when I'm hurt. Be there when I cry
⓻ Be my friend
⓼ Take care of me when I need to be taken care of

Seven Things that Cross My Mind a Lot:
⓵ "Buttsex"
⓶ "Women are better than men"
⓷ "Wow that girl is hot/pretty"
⓸ "Did V write on the RP yet...?"
⓹ "[insert Saiyuki pairing number here]!!!!!"
⓺ "Why do I suck so much?"
⓻ "When do I have rehearsal/dance today...?"

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:
⓵ Put on pajamas
⓶ Brush my teeth
⓷ brush my hair and put it in a ponytail
⓸ Take out my contacts
⓹ Take off my makeup
⓺ Turn on my alarm

Five People Who Mean a Lot:
I'm going to do groups of people. Because I definitely can't say just 5.
⓵ My family, because they accept who I am and take care of me
⓶ V, because she loves me no matter what I do, and because I love her more than I can possibly say
⓷ Ami, because I've loved you for 14 years now, and Sarah, because you're a dork and I love you for it
⓸ Arielle and Cara, because you're my family at Bryn Mawr and I love you both
⓹ All my friends who are away at college right now, because I miss you so much and distance makes the heart grow fonder!

Four Things I'm Wearing Right Now:
⓵ Purple American Eagle top
⓶ Matching purple eyeliner and earrings
⓷ Pink American Eagle scarf
⓸ Matching pink headband and eyeshadow

Three Songs/Bands/Artists I listen to Often:
⓵ WAG//Fukisusabu Kaze no Naka de
⓶ Shimokawa Mikuni//Alone
⓷ Snow Patrol//Chasing Cars

Two Things I Want to Do Before I die:
⓵ Publish a book or short story
⓶ Dance in The Nutcracker again

One Confession:
⓵ More than anything, I want people to love me and to want to be around me. I'm needy. This is probably why everything I do is so bitchy.

Thanks for your time.

Comments

Re: Lots of comments.

[faded-lace.livejournal.com]

Well, thank you. I don't really feel like I'm a very likable person so.

No... I didn't. Sorry.

Sorry?

Oh, okay. Well, no offense taken, then.

XD;; Sorry to be a disappointment

Re: Lots of comments.

[sweetinsanity90.livejournal.com]

Oh. Well, spotlight effect is a social psychology term, that basically means that we think more people are paying attention to us then they are, and we pay more attention to ourselves then anyone else. So, when you say that you're more selfish then everyone else, you may or may not be, but you'll always think you are, due to spotlight effect. Okay, those may be two separate things, but I'll need more coffee before I can think any more about social psych.

Bah. I made my choices, and for better or worse, I am what I am. I'm not apologizing for myself, so why are you?

Question mark? I just said it was understandable that you didn't remember. In what universe does that equate to me thinking you're a disappointment?