faded_lace: (life sucks)
Well, today was excited. And when I say exciting, I mean spent mostly in healthcare providing offices.

This morning at 8:30, I went to put my contact in, and, lo and behold, it got caught under my eyelid. Ouch. But, this had happened to me before, so, without panicing, after going to Japanese in pain, I hopped the blue bus back to Bryn Mawr to go to the health centre.

Now, before, when I went to the Health Centre with this issue, they flushed my eye, inverted the eyelid, popped the contact out, and life was all good and happy. But this time, they flailed around and couldn't figure out how to invert my eyelid, so, instead of finding the nurse who could last time, they forced me to go to Bryn Mawr General Hospital. YAY. They wanted me to go to the emergency room first and I was like HELLS NO so I went to some of Printmaking then came back and let them take me to the eye doctor at the hospital for a 3:00 appointment.

After sorting out various insurance issues, I filled out forms and waited in the lobby of the optometrist's office for a good forty-five minutes. When I FINALLY got called back, some obnoxious patronizing optometrist looked in my eyes, inverted my eyelid, took the contact out, and scolded me in a very patronizing way. This all took maybe fifteen minutes, then he gave me a diagnosis and a proscription and sent me on my way.

THE FUN PART? Turns out I have a corneal abrasion! And it hurts o____x; ALSO? The stupid little bottle of eyedrops cost me 94 dollars! FUCKING 94 DOLLARS! AND ANOTHER THING? I'm not allowed to wear contacts, and since I don't have glasses right now, I'M FUCKING BLIND. And you know what? If the nurses had just gotten the fucking thing out of my eye when I went to them in the first place, none of this would have happened, and I'm sure my eye would have healed fine and life would be BUNNIES AND DUCKIES. BUT NO.

So yes. I wasted the grande majority of my day at the hospital or the health centre.

LIFE SUCKS AND THEN YOU DIE, KIDDIES.
faded_lace: (Default)
This is the best thing ever, in which Percy acts most seme-ish! XD;; Except... more flirty than seme XD;;

Also, I'm really lonely. I just finished my second paper... but I'm so lonely... Everyone's gone...

Nutcracker

Sep. 16th, 2008 04:05 pm
faded_lace: (Default)
This is just ridiculous.

What in hell's name can she possibly be thinking? This is ludicrous.

I'm incensed.
faded_lace: (Default)
Try not to get worried
Try not to turn on to
Problems that upset you
Don't you know
Everything's alright
Yes everything's fine
And we want you to sleep well tonight
Let the world turn without you tonight
If we try
We'll get by
So forget all about us tonight...


If only I could forget all my problems...
faded_lace: (life sucks)
Craft day was epic fail. Hopefully we can finish on Monday...

To do list

*sigh*

Feb. 4th, 2008 09:03 pm
faded_lace: (Default)
I miss Mugenjou. I know it's random to be emoing about it now, but I just looked back a bit, and... I don't know. I'm nostalgic. I miss it. It was fun. It was what introduced me to lj. Even if I missed the glory days... I miss it.

Most of all, though, I miss the people. I wish I had been able to keep in touch with them...but I haven't. I miss Yomi, and Ren, and Friday, and Rinny, and Toast, and Elle, and all the people who were nice to me, even though I was a complete n00b. I wish I had found a way to keep in touch... but alas. I'm too shy, as usual.

Oh well. Life goes on. *sigh*
faded_lace: (Default)
It's all over now, all over. Completely, the end. Never again will I dance Snow, Waltz of the Flowers. My one lead is the material for dust and moths and will be faded and wrinkled around the edges until entirely forgotten.

I lost it on stage. Started crying. It's hard to believe the defining event of my life for the past ten years is officially at its end.

...

Aug. 20th, 2007 11:00 pm
faded_lace: (Default)
I'm terrified.

...


Do I love you because you're beautiful?
Or are you beautiful because I love you?
Am I making believe I see in you
A girl to perfect to be really true?
Do I want you because you're wonderful?
Or are you wonderful because I want you?
Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream,
Or are you really as beautiful as you seem?
faded_lace: (Default)
As leaf subsides to leave
And Eden sank in grief
And dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay...


It's depressing when I can't look at porn because I see people kissing and making out and I know I won't be able to for another 10 months.

I'm so dehydrated.

Ugh...

May. 31st, 2007 07:16 pm
faded_lace: (Default)
The online Crucible? )

That out of my system, I'm relatively stressed for it being the end of the year. Tomorrow, we have the Latin timed essay, and everything hangs in the balance of whether or not I'm exempt from that exam. Ughhhh I hope that I am...I don't want to have to take another final...

Although, tomorrow's a half day, and the pirate party is Sunday. I have to clean the house for it, but I'm really excited. I'm going to marry [livejournal.com profile] omniomphalos~!

It is depressing, however, V's in California until Wednesday. I miss her so much already...she's probably off having a grand old time at the Doll Convention, and I hope she's enjoying herself, but...I miss her. T^T;

Wow. A real post, ftw. It took a crisis for me to do it. XD;;
faded_lace: (Default)
So, I was bored and feeling a tad bit angsty, so I wrote a song. If anyone feels like reading it, it's here...I'm not sure if anyone would get it, anyway.

read at your own risk. XP; )

...

Feb. 10th, 2007 08:34 am
faded_lace: (life sucks)
My kitty is in the hospital...they kept her overnight.

I hope she's all right...
faded_lace: (Default)
Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows.
Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play.
The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you.
The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you.

Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves.
Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash.
The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.
The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you.

The world revives colors renew,
But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue
Without you.

Without you the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats.
Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walks, the lungs breath.

The mind churns!
The heart yearns!
The tears dry, without you.
Life goes on, but I'm gone.
'Cause I die, without you.


Without you.
Without you.
Without you...
faded_lace: (Default)
I've lost my purse. I don't know what I'm going to do. Not only did I have 20 dollars in there, but also my cell phone (with V's phone number), my iPod, my driver's lisence, a necklace, and a few other items of importance to me. If I don't get it back, I don't know what I'm going to do. Seriously. I can't possibly survive without it.

[EDIT] Did I mention that my car keys were in there? T^T;
faded_lace: (Default)
so incredibly happy...

and yet so horribly sad...

at the same time.



therefore: unconditional happiness does not exist.
faded_lace: (Default)
I wish I could just go hide away from everyone, so that I can't hurt them, and they can't accidentally, by no fault of their own, hurt me.

I wish I could erase and change one thing about myself, or someone else (no matter how horribly selfish that is).

I'm selfish, and stupid, and I make matters worse when they're already bad.

Why does every aspect of my life feel as if it's been drenched in liquid nitrogen and then thrown against a brick wall?

I want to let go.

I want to let go.

Why can't I ever let go?



I'll say goodbye, Lost Heaven
How I longed for Heaven
I'm letting go of something I never had
Time goes so fast
Heaven is Lost...
faded_lace: (Default)
I hate everything.

I'm going to go die now.

GRR.

Jun. 20th, 2006 08:57 pm
faded_lace: (Default)
Today was going really sucky, because I have a week before I go away and I had to clean the studio and set it up for Sunshine, who was off in that filthy excuse for a studio in Trolley Square. After working for 7 fucking hours, I was finally looking forward to coming home and RPing with V. Of course, Hiei-chan just HAS to go biking, and so my parents make me go with her. And when I get back, V is offline and won't come back until tomorrow. I fucking have to be packing and cleaning and preparing for the next 3 days. I fucking made time for this and needed something to cheer me up. And her fucking mom has to make her go offline.

FUCK. I hate the world.

[EDIT] V, please don't think I'm blaming you, because I'm not. So don't be sorry and don't be upset with me, please? It's not your fault at all!

*sigh*

Feb. 16th, 2006 11:59 pm
faded_lace: (Default)
A toast to lost innocence, lost happiness, and the fun that only exists in the virtual image of reflected memories. Friday will mourn what Tuesday cannot remember, and yet Saturday still hurts. And chasing bubbles of old soap only results in them popping faster.

Drowning sorrows is only eventual asphixiation, and sympathy aggravates the wounds. Fingers faster than mind will melt the keys and chose forgiveness away. Machines have no emotion, no matter how humanoid the opporator. And broken glass will still be broken, even when carefully glued back together.

I'll cry softly and lick my wounds when tomorrow doesn't care.



Edit: On second thought, I'm seriously considering going on hiatus from everything.
faded_lace: (Default)
I suck. I really do.

I try to pretend like I'm okay when I'm not and I try to smile and say it's nothing, but all I ever end up doing is wallowing in my own misery and crying to someone and making them miserable, too.

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faded_lace: (Default)
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